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San Francisco Soccer Football League
Providing the highest level of men's semi-professional soccer in California since 1902

SF Battery FC

Majors Division, 2018

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S Poole
K Alexander
Region : EB

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Team News

SF Battery is always interested in finding new quality players (college experience preferred) who are also good guys, want to play serious soccer, but don't have time to do annoying things like practice. If interested, contact Kevin Alexander (kevin.n.alexander@gmail.com) or Stuart Poole (stuartwpoole@gmail.com).  

Team History

SF Battery has a long and prestigious history dating back to the mid-aughts, when team founder Forest "Yes, I Will Take That Free Kick, Thank You" Dickey packed up seven pairs of Wisconsin-Red Umbros and an old Coed Naked Soccer t-shirt, stuffed them into a trash bag, and moved to San Francisco. 

 

Playing with several teams over the course of a few years, he enjoyed the high level of play, but -- being a furniture maker by trade and thus naturally lazy -- did not love attending weekly practices. One day after practice, he sat next to Stuart Poole drinking a Citrus Cooler Gatorade Stuart had stolen from work and posited the question that would form the very backbone of the SF Battery's motto today: "Wait dude -- what if we put together a team that DIDN'T practice?" 

 

And thus -- on that practice field under the motto: "No practices, No d-bags" -- SF Battery FC was born. Starting in the lowest league (as is necessary as a new team), Battery won promotion an unprecedented two out of the first three years in its existence (a first in SFSL history) and now finds itself in the Majors division closing in on another promotion while battling against teams with multiple practices, teams, coaches, and those expensive practice pennies you're supposed to wear on the sidelines. 

 

And though Forest has since left us for the much more earthquake-susceptible confines of Seattle, we go forward into battle each week comforted by his parting words, "No seriously guys, everyone really needs to pay me." Indeed, Forest. Indeed. 

 

 

Team Schedule

DAY DATE TIME VENUE OPPONENT RES SCO COMP STAT
Sun Mar. 4 9:00 Beach Chalet 3 Melchester Rovers FC W 6-0 league scheduled
Sun Mar. 11 2:45 Beach Chalet 3 Azteca FC L 2-4 league scheduled
Sun Mar. 18 9:00 Beach Chalet 3 Olympic Club Reserves W 2-0 league scheduled
Sun Mar. 25 12:45 Beach Chalet 3 Oakland Leopards FC W 3-2 league scheduled
Sun Apr. 8 10:45 Beach Chalet 3 Berenice SC W 6-1 league scheduled
Sun Apr. 15 10:45 Minnie & Lovie Ward 2 MCFC W 4-2 league scheduled
Sun Apr. 22 2:45 Beach Chalet 3 FC Dirty Birds D 1-1 league scheduled
Sun Apr. 29 9:00 Beach Chalet 3 Total Football FC W 4-3 league scheduled
Sun May. 6 9:00 Minnie & Lovie Ward 2 Innisfree FC W 4-1 league scheduled
Sun May. 20 10:45 Silver Terrace (Turf Club Marin Reserves L 0-5 league scheduled
Sun Jun. 3 12:45 Minnie & Lovie Ward 1 Deportivo Cometa W 4-3 league scheduled
Sun Jun. 10 10:45 Beach Chalet 3 Melchester Rovers FC W 4-0 league scheduled
Sun Jun. 17 2:45 Beach Chalet 2 Azteca FC L 1-2 league scheduled
Sun Jun. 24 9:00 Crocker Amazon 2 Olympic Club Reserves W 3-2 league scheduled
Sun Jul. 1 10:45 Beach Chalet 4 Oakland Leopards FC D 1-1 league scheduled
Sun Jul. 8 10:45 Beach Chalet 3 Berenice SC W 4-0 league scheduled
Sun Jul. 15 10:45 Crocker Amazon 1 MCFC

league scheduled
Sun Jul. 22 2:45 Beach Chalet 3 FC Dirty Birds W 3-0 league scheduled
Sun Jul. 29 9:00 Crocker Amazon 3 Total Football FC W 3-2 league scheduled
Sun Aug. 5 9:00 Crocker Amazon 1 Innisfree FC W 3-2 league scheduled
Sun Aug. 12 10:45 Crocker Amazon 2 Club Marin Reserves W 3-0 league scheduled
Sun Aug. 19 12:45 Beach Chalet 3 Deportivo Cometa W 2-0 league scheduled
Sun Aug. 26 1:00 Crocker Amazon 3 MCFC W 5-1 league scheduled
In the event of a uniform conflict the home team must change colors.
*** Home Games are listed in BOLD ***
*** To record a score, login, and then click on the Comp link ***
*** View the game report by clicking on the Comp link ***
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Division Standings

Majors Division, 2018
TC TEAM NAME P W L D F GF GA GD PTS

SF Battery FC 22 17 3 2 0 68 32 36 53

Azteca FC 22 17 4 1 0 82 28 54 52

Club Marin Reserves 22 14 5 3 0 75 37 38 45

Olympic Club Reserves 22 13 6 3 0 63 35 28 42

Total Football FC 22 12 7 2 1 58 56 2 35

FC Dirty Birds 22 9 9 4 0 56 50 6 31

Oakland Leopards FC 22 7 11 4 0 42 60 -18 25

Deportivo Cometa 22 6 11 5 0 50 51 -1 23

Berenice SC 22 6 11 5 0 30 53 -23 23

Innisfree FC 22 5 12 5 0 34 56 -22 20

MCFC 22 4 13 5 0 39 61 -22 17

Melchester Rovers FC 22 2 19 1 0 17 95 -78 7
Sorted by - Pts, GD, GF, GA

Team Roster

2 players
(Roster is hidden by the Team Manager)